A friend told me about the dating sight, Match.com several years ago….this is back in 2005- and a really new concept to me! Yikes…To post yourself on the internet so that people can actually view your profile, pictures and contact you for a date? Yeah, right!!!! To me it seemed so foreign….like walking down the aisle of a grocery store only this time you are choosing your “man” based on something he wrote about himself or the way he looked…………crazy…………….! Hell no!
I had been married most of my life, and at that time I was going through a divorce and 48 years old. I had moved from Vermont to Arizona…. was working as a personal trainer at a Woman’s gym, going to an alternative school for transformational coaching that was 80%+ attended by women…..
Ok….with statistics like that the likelihood of meeting a man was close to Zero!
My friend wouldn’t give up on the idea that match.com would be GREAT for me. (Incidentally, she was using match.com as well- and I thought perhaps she wanted someone to talk about as we shared this experience, or perhaps someone’s shoulder to cry on….I didn’t know which!)
And then, I figured….why not? How else was I going to meet men????
And so I joined Match.com
I honestly didn’t give it too much thought after making the decision, and actually didn’t hold much faith in the process but I logged on, sign up for 3 months and chose a PROFILE NAME. Are you kidding- at age 48 I was ONLINE looking for a DATE? Funny thing at that age is 20 year olds are looking for their “cougar” and 70 year olds for their trophy wife.
I bounced it off a couple of friends AFTER I had already joined and they thought I couldn’t possibly be serious! Several were worried about my safety as there ARE axe murderers out there and someone somewhere that they had read about HAD gone on a date and never was seen again….so I stopped telling anyone what I was doing!
Wow, Phoenix is a huge area with LOTS of men and women to choose from!!! That was a good thing. Although my free time was somewhat limited, I began to interact with people who looked like a potential ‘fit’….keep in mind I had been out of the dating scene for decades! Needless to say, it had changed!
I won’t get into too many “details” except to say that MY personal experience was positive. Within a day or two of joining, I met 3 really nice men- the first for lunch and the other two for coffee and breakfast. (I’d suggest “coffee and conversation” for all first dates which is easier and quicker than committing to a whole meal with someone that you potentially have nothing in common with and no “spark”! Just saying….
Anyway, date #1 was a man whom I connected with on a deep level and actually dated for 8 months. Date #2, the following day was a man who became a friend and a workout partner, and date #3, well…put it this way- other than being a nice enough guy and also from the east coast of the USA- there was no attraction!
Like I said, MY experience- as limited up until then as I had- was positive…however some of the stories I heard from friends who had gone on Match.com dates, was down-right hilarious or some even frightening!
Fast forward a year from originally joining Match.com
because that is when some magic occurred.
I was single – going on 50 and thinking that 2007 was the year that I was open to meeting a man, and having a long term and meaningful relationship! I had taken time to “date myself” as some people suggested who had also been through a divorce, and had got crystal clear on the type of person I wanted to attract into my life. I believe that once you REALLY and TRULY are open to meeting a particular type of person…that if YOU are in alignment in all those areas yourself- that your paths will cross. (I say if you are in alignment as some of my friends wanted to find a wealthy man with a great fit body and they lived with poverty consciousness and were 40 pounds over-weight! And if they DID meet, I am quite certain it would not last long-term)
Anyway….flashing forward to 2007 I followed my intuition and went BACK on Match.com. Rather than tell my story you can watch our 2013 Valentine’s Day Video
6 years later, Dave and I are STILL together and very much in love! We have committed ourselves on all levels and know without an ounce of doubt that we will be together from “now on”. Would we recommend www.match.com to others? Absolutely!!!!
Would we have any suggestions for anyone looking to meet someone on line? Absolutely….but that is another story.
Some quick advice for anyone looking to use ANY online dating service is to be 100% authentic. Why would you want to be anything BUT honest, truthful on all levels? If you lie about your interests to sound “fun” – or post old pictures where you were 10 years younger and 40 pounds less that is not accurate!
Go ahead and join an online dating service- and Match.com would be a good place to begin….what do you have to lose? Both Dave and I have relatives and friends who have met on Match.com and are thrilled with their “match” and now happily married….
So to answer what people ask us on how we met… is MATCH.COM REAL or a SCAM we tell them our story.
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