Understanding How Women Network

Understanding How Women Network

I recently read this article, written back in 2009 and in Forbes magazine and thought it was worth passing along  to our readers and members of our network. (Written by Meghan Casserly, Forbes Staff Entrepreneurship. By women, of women, for women.)

“Whether through online social networking or face-to-face contact, women are meeting, sharing and connecting in ways that men often shy away from. The result is lasting relationships that are the building blocks of future job placements, sales leads and partnerships.

We’re dissecting the ins and outs of the way women network differently than men–with the experts weighing in on the how, why and a lesson on building connections with the guys.

Do women network differently than men?

In a word, yes. “Men don’t actually network the way women define networking,” says Gail Blanke, a life coach and author of Throw Out Fifty Things: Clear the Clutter, Find Your Life. They do what she calls “a straight shot.” (http://www.throwoutfiftythings.com/)

The narrative looks like this: A man thinks, “Who do I know who has what I need right now?”–could be a job, investment tip or tickets to the game–and then he asks for it. Simple.

Women are generally more complex. “We see things from a lot of different angles, not just one straight-lined route, and so we take a roundabout route,” says Blanke. In an effort to personalize professional networking, women normally try to create connections or friendships. “Before we think, ‘What can this person do for me,’ we ask, ‘What can I do for her in order to get what I need.’”

In many cases this give-and-then-take style of networking builds long-lasting relationships. “Connecting is what it’s all about for women,” says Blanke. Think LinkedIn: “Even if she can’t help me, maybe she knows somebody who can or will think of me at some point in the future when she needs somebody. In other words, the connection is not wasted, even if there’s no immediate transaction.”

What are the benefits of building these relationships?

“Women are really good listeners, and, even at a networking event, we listen to what the other person needs so that we can help to make that happen,” continues Blanke. “Out of that comes trust. And out of that–perhaps–comes a new business contact, new boyfriend or play dates for your kids. That works for women.”

Underscoring the point, Sonya Shelton, a leadership consultant and founder of Being Present to Win, describes women’s style of networking as mutually beneficial “added value.”

“Women help each other build our businesses and our networks,” says Shelton. “We can also share what we’re learning, reach out to each other as thought-partners and have more access to best practices within our industry.”

What’s the downside to making personal connections when networking for business?

“I love your handbag,” says a woman next to you at an industry event as you’re waiting in line for a glass of Chardonnay. By the time you’ve tipped the bartender, you’ve discovered she shares your favorite designers and also has two elementary school-age kids. You exchange business cards and part with a new friend.

Now that you have a personal connection, you recommend her for a job–or perhaps hire her yourself. Well, it’s really uncomfortable if it doesn’t work out, right? After all, she’s your “friend.”

“Sometimes creating these intimate connections in networking can backfire,” says Dawn Todd, founder of Wildly Successful Woman Network, a membership-based network of female entrepreneurs. “Still, if you’ve developed a real and honest relationship, you can go to her and say, ‘My experience with your service didn’t accomplish what I thought it would. And as someone who cares about you, I want to help you.’ Now your relationship–both personally and professionally–can move forward.”

Where’s the line between networking and friendship?

It’s called pragmatism. “Many women would benefit from drawing a harder line between networking relationships and personal relationships,” says Karen Burns, author of The Amazing Adventures of Working Girl: Real Life Career Advice You Can Actually Use.

In networking, your goal is to “sell yourself” so you appear responsible, reliable and smart. Sharing TMI that makes you look otherwise can backfire. Off the table: sex, politics, drinking escapades and, well, you get the picture. “Yes, it’s good to be open and real but keep the impression you’re making in mind.”

How do I develop networking skills with men?

Men and women have very different brains and they do network differently, says Helen Fisher, Ph.D., biological anthropologist at Rutgers University and author of Why Him, Why Her. “The male brain is more compartmentalized; they get straight to the point, they know the goal. They tend to decide right away, with little to no small-talk, whether they will work with you or not.”

If you know what you want, ask for it. Drop the small talk. And if you are going to make small talk, make boy small talk, not girl talk. And get to the point.”  end of article

For me, as a woman, it has always been easier to network and communicate with other women.  There is no second guessing on ulterior motivation, etc. in our communications.  I suppose part of that came from when I was a personal trainer and on occasion trained men.  In many cases, when I complimented them for their form, or progress, they began to think I was interested in them in a personal way, rather than just encouraging them as a client professionally.

What do you think of the article?  When I read it I had some “aha moments” and it made sense.

Understanding how women networking is incredibly important in network marketing, or direct sales,  where you are building a team together, where everyone benefits together.

Dave and Joy/Global Leaders & Trainers with Tavala





Why Network Marketing is PERFECT for Women of All Ages?

Have you noticed how many women are in network marketing?  Why do you think that trend is growing?

I began to research the reason so many women are joining network marketing.   It’s a growing phenomena so I thought understanding why more women than ever are getting involved in network marketing and direct sales would be insightful.

According to Women United for Change (http://www.womenunitedforchange.com) Lawyers, medical and healthcare professionals, marketing executives, pharmaceutical reps, accountants, real estate and mortgage professionals, teachers, working and stay-at-home moms, nurses, athletes, baby boomers, college students, financial planners – women from almost every imaginable background and age group are joining this profession in droves.

Why? and Why Network Marketing?

Women today want to make great money AND still have quality time with their kids, spouse (or other important priorities).
They’re tired of glass ceilings, office politics and long commutes.
They want to be in control of their schedules, to work when they want to work (and take time off when needed).
They love building a business that pays them more (and requires less of their time) as it grows, and to have no limits on the money they can make.
They want to feel the work they do makes a real difference for others, and to be part of a team that supports and helps each other.
They sense they have a bigger role to play in the world, and want to make a real and lasting contribution.

A network marketing/direct sales business gives women the opportunity to accomplish all these things (and SO much more).

This unique and collaborative business is the best option for women who want to create both an exciting income and an ideal lifestyle (and who thrive on making a real difference for others).

                    Women Are Great at Multi-Tasking- Sharing and Building Teams!

Office Or Home Directions On A Wooden Signpost

Women are renowned for their ability to multi-task.  This is a great quality and strength to have in network marketing as you literally have to be very versatile and wear many different hats to run this type of business.

Women are Good Leaders-Women are Naturally Social-Women are Great Communicators-Women are Non-Intimidating-Women are Natural Nurturer’s- Women Offer the Right Kind of Motivation and Women are Quick Learners…

You know that women wear multiple hats and they want more: more for their families, more for their friends, more for the world, and even more for themselves.

At our core, we want it, and unfortunately, some women don’t know their options or are not excited enough to jump into something new.

Sure, there are a lot of ways to do it, and one of those ways is through Network Marketing. And guess what? As a woman, it’s in our DNA. Yes, Women were born to excel in Network Marketing.

I personally love working with other and helping other women as well as empowering one another.  In network marketing competition among women, for the most part, is more friendly than in the traditional business world.

If you are a woman and looking to earn additional income part-time or full-time, check out network marketing as an option.  It’s a great way to earn additional income in the ‘cracks of your life’ if you are already busy, and it has many rewards.

If you are an entrepreneur and wish to change careers or leave the corporate job/life but not give up an executive income, networking may be the answer for you.  It has been for me and the income, residual I may add, that comes with building a team right and getting paid over and over and over again, is worth it.

As for which company to join, only you can determine what that company is.  Please do your homework as hopefully this will be a long term relationship and you want to make the right decision on the company, and team you join.

Tavala is a unique network marketing company that is attracting both women who have never done networking in their lives, as well as seasoned leaders.  There are many reasons.  If you are interested in exploring the possibilities, please reach out to me.  info@DaveandJoy.com or call 802-846-7530.  I’m looking to mentor 2 women this month….

Dave and Joy/ Global Leaders 




Bikram Yoga- more than 1/2 way there! Funny Description of Paige’s 1st day.

I couldn’t sleep well last night and I began to wonder if it is my BIKRAM YOGA “practice” that is shifting things internally and messing up with my night time sleep schedule….and day time energy slumps.  They say it gets easier and I can expect to BECOME MORE ENERGIZED – but WHO is they anyway?  🙂

Yesterday was Day 16 of doing Bikram daily.  I began to question if what I was doing….a 30-Day Challenge was actually good for me and wanted to hear others experience of what it did for them!  So I googled and found many great stories, videos etc. but THIS one put a smile on my face and I continued to read on and actually ‘champion’ her successes.

….and this is where I stumbled upon this part 1 of a gal, Paige Williams, who shared her Bikram story in Oprah Magazine.  http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/paige-williams-60-day-bikram-yoga-makeover/all

This girl, Paige, was 80 pounds overweight, divorced, out of work, and deeply in debt. OK, so none of those are me, except I am a 60-year old woman who had never done a BIKRAM challenge and someone, much like Paige,  who wants to make peace with my body while balancing my body-mind-spirit connection.  Oh and add one more thing, I’d love to drop at least 10 pounds in these ‘infamous’ 30-days.  (I’d like to say where the FAT could melt off, but I guess I will have to just wait and see.)  One thing I know, a woman with a ‘men-o-pot’ around the belly can not bend into poses easily.

So here is how it was described in Paige’s article.  Paige needs a physical and spiritual overhaul. Can 60 days in a Bikram hot-yoga studio really undo years of damage?  and this is where it got funny-and accurate.


Paige writes:  “The teacher wants me to make a Japanese ham sandwich. To my knowledge, I’ve never seen a Japanese ham sandwich, but as I understand it, I’m to stand bent with my face to my shins and chest to my thighs in perfect vertical union—I am the sandwich.

I would say I look more like a jelly roll. My flabby abdomen won’t let my forehead anywhere near my knees, and my legs tremble as I try contorting myself into a position my body neither recognizes nor endorses. The goal is to concentrate on stretching and breathing, but I’m fixating on my unpedicured toenails. And the neon paleness of my legs. And the fact that I probably should have shaved.

The students around me are tanned and toned and very nearly nude. Every body glistens. We’re in a Bikram yoga studio, after all, where the heat is set to 105 degrees and the humidity to 40 percent, to facilitate flexibility. The men wear nothing but shorts; the women rock hot pants and halters. Because I’d rather lick the sweat-soaked carpet than bare my wretched flesh, I have on the hot-yoga equivalent of a snowsuit: calf-length sweatpants, a jog bra, and a T-shirt. I’m huffing harder than a serial killer. And we’re only on posture number one.

Posture number one of class one of day one. Assuming I survive, I’ll make the ham sandwich and about two dozen other postures every single day for the next two months, for the notorious 60-day Bikram challenge. I’m subjecting myself to “Bikram’s torture chamber,” as founder Bikram Choudhury himself calls this insanely intense regimen, because the program promises renewal from the inside out—because suffering inside this hot room may be my surest path to survival out in the world.

I need to change so many things about my life, it’s hard to know where to start. I need physical and spiritual transformation, from the mental to the muscular to the molecular. I need to stop treating my body like a landfill. I need stability, which I haven’t seen in so long, I’ve forgotten how it feels. I need a reset button.

“Do this yoga for 60 days and it will change your body, your mind, and your life,” says Choudhury, a former Indian yoga champion who lives in Los Angeles and who is, depending on your viewpoint, either a beloved lifesaving guru or just a really flexible guy who got lucky, and rich, with an idea and a persona. Bikram students believe, and I hope they’re right, that Choudhury’s heat-centric, copyrighted sequence of ancient hatha yoga postures is a transformative agent like no other; testimonials the world over suggest this yoga eases the symptoms of a range of maladies—depression, diabetes, carpal tunnel syndrome, fibromyalgia, migraines, arthritis, back pain, and heart disease, for instance—while relaxing the mind and slimming the body.

“Can’t you just do all that by, like, running every day for 60 days?” a friend asks. Good question, but the answer doesn’t interest me. None of my past fitness activities—racquet sports, cycling, jogging, gym circuit training, kickboxing—seem catalytic enough for the depth of change I’m after.

I’m not a renovation; I’m a tear down. And I’m hoping Bikram is my bulldozer!”

So here I am….JOY, not Paige and I began questioning if what I was doing was sane, smart or worth it.  I can say each and every day is different- for example Day 17 was TODAY and I felt GREAT.  I could balance stronger, I was less tired (despite not sleeping well last night) and honestly if I had to, I’d actually be able to do a 2nd class later today, which they call a ‘double’!  (Now that I think of it, I believe it was the TAVALA TRIM drink I had prior to class today that made a difference)  I’ll have to try it tomorrow!  www.DaveandJoy.com

Am I going to stick it out? You bet.  How could I come this far and not complete the 30-days?  I’d truly let myself down if I quit now.  30-days straight or admit I don’t have what it takes.

I began Bikram when I listened to my inner self/my voice tell me this is what my body needs.  I wasn’t thrilled to ‘hear’ the message but I believed it to be true.

If you won’t listen, then why ask- right?

I began my personal 30-Day Challenge on August 21st and September 1st Queen City Bikram Yoga, where I go, started their 30-Day Challenge.  If I do just mine, COOL, if I do the studios’ it will take me to 41 Days Straight.  What do you think?  Think I can do it?  Think I ‘should’ do it?

I look forward to the day when walking into a Bikram yoga studio is as comfortable to me as walking into a gym or fitness center.  The familiarity of a cold 20 lb. dumbbell could really excite me!  but in the meantime, I’ll see what YOGA can do for this less-than-limber 60 year old body.

If you happen to live in Burlington VT and would like to join me, message me.  My husband joins me 3x a week and the more the merrier!

Joy Edgerton/ 802-846-7530

joyedgerton@gmail.com/ www.DaveandJoy.com


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Dave and Joy/ Global Leaders with TAVALA




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